Lauren Orrell (Kristen)

“You don’t get the scripts you want, you get the scripts you need”, so goes the wisdom of Sydney based casting director, Faith Martin. 

I couldn’t find a way to describe my experience on the new seasons of, Starting From Now, not in the way I thought was expected of me. As I write and erase word after word, that phrase keeps coming to mind.

“You get the scripts that you need.”

From the beginning the show is not what I saw myself doing as an actor (I don’t actually know what it is I saw myself doing, but playing someone who had a life plan, wasn’t it) but it has been exactly what I needed.

Kristen’s journey, through co-incidence or divine intervention, I’m not sure which, has become a close reflection of my own journey. Her wounds were my wounds, we wanted the same things- to love and be loved, to be accepted and respected, but both of us far too frightened and hurt to be willingly vulnerable to give or receive any of these things.

In Season 3 Kiki, as I affectionately call her, and I let our demons off their leash. As her life spectacularly fell apart, mine also did, slowly and somewhat less spectacularly in the background.  As that season aired, and talks of new seasons started happened, I had serious doubts about my ability to put my grief aside long enough to get out of bed and work. 

First day on set I was wracked with nerves, but I needn’t have been. It was like coming home. There was a place for all the chaos and hurt in the work, and through the work, and more importantly the people I worked with, my heart and my head started to heal. It’s through the show and the cast I’ve learnt that it’s not only ok to have an open and loving heart, but that it’s absolutely vital. Without love, we simply die. SFN is not just another job for me, it’s a family, a family I’m very lucky to be a part of.

In the end, we always get what we need. 

By Lauren Orrell